“First come home, then clean house”

Aryuna Ardagh

The lost Seeker

Humans look for home. Home in the very deepest sense. The feeling of “this is it”, “I have found it”, “home at last”. And interestingly enough, most of us look for home in many places, before we find it. The fact is that just like Ulysses, we all travel far only to reach the home that was really very near. Or rather, the home that was here all the time. And the Enneagram is in a sense a description of nine ways of looking for home in the wrong place.

This is what all great spiritual traditions speak about. And in fact it is what psychotherapy is about as well, from a different angel. The coming home to Being, to presence, to awareness. The rediscovery of who, or what, we really are. And invariably we will come to see that the longing is satisfied falling down, resting in ourselves, without attachments to anything passing, exterior or out of reach.

There seem to be a number of talents that human beings possess and that are distributed among us. Theres seems to be a set of inclinations, characters, or shall we call it personalities. And these are gifts what we can put to good use on earth. At the same time they are connected to a loss of contact with who we really are, namely pure Being. And each type is preoccupied with an aspect of Being. The aspect is not lost but the person is doubting it is there and looking for it in the world.

Ones do not realize that they are Perfection, so they look for it, in both creative and destructive ways. Sixes are safe, but they do not go inside to find that safety. Twos are loved, and they are love, but look outside for love. Everything is taken care of by the Universe, but threes do not see that, so they feel it is up to them. Sevens look for joy outside, missing eternal joy inside. When we are identified with our egoic pattern we miss out on the real deal. Until we drop down and come home.

When an individual wakes up to the realization that she is her true nature, being itself, that does not mean her type is erased. Rather, she spontaneously lives the aspects of her type that are unique, without the destructive byproducts of separation and despair.

The personalities are centered around the talents and each has a different view of the world, a different bias when it comes to assessing what human life is about. One could also view this aspect of humanness as a way of looking for that lost connection to Being in one particular place. A type one will look for it in instances of perfect harmony, a type two in the loving contact with another, a type three in things well and efficiently done, a type four in beauty, a type five in the mastery of knowledge, a type six in flowing cooperation between people, a type seven in fun and play, a type eight in strength and a type nine in peace.

We potentially complement each other, but that we often fail to see things that way. Rather we over use, misuse or shall we say that we focus so much on our particular talent, that it often does more harm than good to us and to the whole.

It seems to us that the soul is the same type thoughout its journey. So there is an enneagram of soul and one of ego, so to speak. Or, as some teachers will teach, there are levels of functioning. To us it looks like this is true, and it is true that we live out different aspects of our type in different circumstances and in different lifetimes. The so called subtypes, come into play here.

In any given circumstance we are also influenced by other souls that se come into contact with. Especially those souls that we have connections with. You will be able to observe this in yourself if you know your enneatype well and observe how you sometimes pick up energies, emotions and thought patterns that belong to people close to you.

There is not need to worry about loss in the context of spiritual awakening, although that is the fear that often causes us to try to turn back when we are “almost there”. If there is something useful about your enneatype, it will still be there when you are free. Knowing experientially that you are pure awareness, not that which appears in your awareness, such as form, thought, emotion, body, does not kill you. Life moves through your form and the uniqueness of your soul is somewhat present even then. There is nothing to worry about, except the worries of ego. For of course to our ego loosing interest in being someone special and better and separate feels like loss. But for God within, it is awakening to paradise. Then God can act through us and use the resources of our type.

Of course, in the end we are all one and the types are unimportant. That happens right here, right now whenever you cease to be identified with your own separate personality and experience yourself as what you really are, namely Being, Life itself.