The Perfectionist

We choose to call this personality type the Perfectionist, because, if you are a one, you strive to be organized, neat and orderly. You are also a very individualistic (this is why many ones think they are fours), you will not be one of the sheep following the heard. You will know in your bones what is right for you. You will expect things to be perfect and will be frustrated when things are not to you liking.

Ones are bodytypes, and therefor they avoid anger. But anger is actually the motivation for a one to organize, and to perfect herself and her surroundings. A one can feel good if she cleans the house with the anger as the engine. She will feel like she is cleaning the emotional charge away. This motivation can make a one work too hard and too often. It might just feel too good for her to do something, get the job done. If you are a one you will have a tendency to zoom in on details, and correct them if needed. There is a love of cleaning, organizing and strict discipline in type one, mirrored in cultures such as Britain, Germany and Japan, dominated by type one values. A one sees discipline and rules as an important means of stopping others from creating chaos or making a mess, in other words, from ruining her vision of perfection.

Once are often conformists at heart. But they can also be reformists and try to change what they do not agree with. There is also a physical tendency in a one to rebel and disagree. A one can feel in her bones when something is wrong. If she cannot stand for it, her whole body will react with resistance and sometimes active non conformism.

A one knows how to organize, and having things well organized makes her feel good. She can get irritated and critical when something is not in order, and cannot enjoy herself until everything is to her liking. This also goes for theories and mind stuff, that also need to be in order. If not a one can get very anxious and frustrated. A one often prefers doing things herself so that she gets it the way she wants it. A Perfectionist often has to bite her tongue in order not to be too honest in her commenting and she also have an impuls from her gut discipline others.

A one comes across as calm, practical, honest, a bit stiff, serious and often pessimistic. Some ones are very colorful like peacock and love to be seen, often to attract reactions or the opposite sex. There is always anger underlying the surface. She can sometimes be quite humorous, but it is a humor with a dark twist to it (irony). Many stand-up comedians are ones.

Ones can be introverted, like the character Ior in Winnie the Pooh, or more extroverted, like the character Rabbit. Many political activists are ones, channelling their anger into a cause. Nelson Mandela and Gandhi are examples of reformer ones whose energy goes into to doing good for others. And some are more openly angry and rebellious, like Bob Dylan and Russell Brand.

Although most ones are calm and together, also some act wild and rebellious. Rebellious ones can sometimes be hyper active and all over the place. They are more likely than other ones to lose control. They can be quite messy, reacting against the inner strive to be orderly. The can also be very liberated sexually like Madonna who baldly wants to provoke the catholic church morals. The rebellious ones are often strong individualist and often love to be seen and noticed in a crowd. They like to say things that causes reactions in others, whatever is politically incorrect.

Ones can be either very childlike and seductive like Marilyn Monroe. Then there are the more conformist ones like instance Mother Theresa and other saints. A one either feels to be moralistic or rebel against morals, either conformists or reformists or both at different times. Morals are for a one an inner push and pull war. It is about their own moral code, to follow it or not. If a one is in their stresspoint which is the four-aspect, they can be very destructive. It can be a big variation among ones and that can make it hard for you as a one to find your type.

Expectations and demands

To a one, the world often looks hard and difficult to survive in. She is pessimistic this way. There is a strong experience of scarcity in this type. Ones fear not being able to make it physically (survive) in the world. This drives her to be a very hard working person. A one often works harder than she really needs to, just to feel safe that she will make enough money to survive. On the other hand many ones like expensive things, things they consider perfect. They can hold on hard to money and all of a sudden buy something expensive they really enjoy the perfection of.

Ones have high demands on themselves whatever they do. And they also project their own high demands on the outside world. A Perfectionist will prefer working on her own because of this. The more people, the bigger the risk of things getting messy, so it is better to rely on herself entirely.

A one is so much driven by duty (and sometimes by the rebellion against what she perceives as duty and demand) that she often has a hard time knowing what her real wants and needs are. Therefore, she does not express them easily to others. Sometimes it feels safer to make reference to rules or rights than to openly set limits and ask for what you want.

If you are a one you, will probably feel good dreaming of what you want in life, especially romantic fantasies. She often dreams of meeting the right one. The one perfect prince charming. Dreaming is an undemanding place to a one, like a sort of vacation. Real life rarely measures up to the perfect dreamy fantasy. If she goes ahead to pursue her dreams, a one will be hardworking and do any kind of work according to her own high standards. She will strive for absolute perfection.

Due to a deep seated lack of trust, ones avoid being naive and happy-go-lucky. If you are a one, you may not tell anyone when you feel great. You may also find cheerful people superficial and doubt the authenticity of their joy (as well as of you own joy, when you are in a good mood). At the same time, you probably long to relax and not take yourself so seriously.

Type one easily gets confused with type five. Both types want integrity. For a five it is about integrity in their mental space. A five that feels unclear will withdraw and when feeling clear and safe again she will connect with others, if she feels like it. If someone pushes a five then they will feel invaded and withdraw even more, or they will get very upset. For a one integrity means specifically physical integrity. Do not come to close to my body when I do not want you to. There is a palpable “No!” in the air when a one does not want to be close. To a one, this physical boundary is very important. She can move backwards and with her body language try to make you understand that it is not ok for her that you come closer. She can get very upset if someone does not get her signals. Rebellious ones can be quite the opposite and make a mess and invade people in a stressed out manner. They rebel against their own inner control. She can also be very controlling of her space. She might not like you using her kitchen messing it up, or even worse breaking something. These sort of things can stress a one out.

A one likes knowing she is in control of her own life. Keeping everything in order, having a good view of ones life, knowing that everything is in its place. This makes her feel good and in control of the outside world, as well as of her interiority. Control sits in the body like a straight jacket of tension. There is asceticism in this tendency. Ones have a love of purity and simplicity. There is a general tendency in this type to refrain from excess and gluttony in all its forms.

As we said, some ones challenge the fear of loosing control of their anger, being the rebel. They are rebellious ones (in traditional Enneagram literature taken to be counter phobic sixes). They can really make a mess of everything and make a point of showing the world how wild they are, as they aggressively go against what is accepted by society. Any one can end up living out this polarity. It is a logical reaction to excessive inner control that cannot be sustained. A one does not like being pushed. Pressure only makes her more prone to dig her heals in or have a strong reaction (anger). Let me do it in my way, is her motto.

Ones tend to not hold personal grudges for long, unless they feel someone really hurt them seriously. If that is the case, a one can be even vindictive. More often than not, her anger is a gut reaction to the here and now situation, and has little impact on her feelings and thoughts about the people that vexed her at that moment. Ones react and get upset, but the upset passes quickly, the way anger comes and goes in the one character Donald Duck.

Acceptance and joy

Knowing that you are a one can help you become free. Understanding your one patterns will make you see how you are creating an inner climate of anger, stress and melancholy for yourself. It often blocks your will to take action and to give yourself that which you want. You will be able to see through your tendency to look back and regret and to refrain from action for fear of acting incorrectly.

You will be able to choose to let yourself out of that physical jailhouse cell. Being good, doing your duty, refraining and living up to your own high standards does not give you that which you long for on a deeper level.

For ones, the direction of integration is toward point seven in the Enneagram. Your inner child aspect is seven. This aspect is within you, you need only listen to it and let it guide you.

These are positive aspects of a healthy type seven that are helpful to you if you are a type one:

– Trust. Your inner seven child naturally trusts that life is good. She trusts the joy within her, her wants, and the basic abundance of existence.

– Spontaneity. Trusting your body, you can let yourself be spontaneous. A healthy seven does not feel embarrassed about moving freely and expressing her joy.

– Acceptance. Healthy sevens are optimistic and accepting. Let you inner child teach you to accept things as they are, and enjoy them. Life is good, I am good, you are good.

– Forgiveness. Letting things go and enjoy the fun. A healthy seven is light hearted. She does not ponder on the past. Nor is she hard on herself for long. What is done is done. She focuses on positive options now, and for the future.

– Enjoy the fun. A seven goes for fun and pleasure, and does not care much for rules or discipline, or seriousness.

– Optimism. Seeing the bright side of the matter. Expecting the best.

– Trusting others. A seven basically expects good things from the environment. Other people included. In her world there is abundance awaiting. Learn from this. Learn to trust the good intentions of others. The world is full of good things for you and others are there to contribute the good that they have.

– Generosity. A seven will not deny herself that which she craves. Integrating this aspect will balance your natural tendency to be an ascetic person.

– A taste for experiences. Your inner seven child prefers trying new things and enjoying them, to thinking about the past or, less, regret. She will not want you to deny yourself pleasures and fun.

– Do not allow your creative playful activities to become duties. A seven does the opposite, turning everything into a a fun game. Going in that direction is sure to balance you. Do it because you feel like it, not because you should. Give yourself plenty of space to play and enjoy life, in your artistic creativity, whatever form it takes. Isn’t it true that that is where you feel your happiest?

– Go for it. A seven has such a taste for adventure and variety that she jumps in, even when the outcome is uncertain. She goes for it. And if she does not achieve it, she tries something else. Sink down into that light inner child energy, and relax. Then act from there.

When a one is walking hand in hand with her seven child and they have a good team work going, she is harmonious and socially secure. This team work will start to happen when the one listens and cares about what the child wants. She will have decided to not criticize nor judge the kid, but on the contrary, to be guided by its wisdom.

Integrated ones are relaxed, generous, playful and can laugh warmly about everything. They are creative and they contribute to the world in their own special way, all the while being kind and receptive to their own needs and preferences. They are accepting and they know how to enjoy the perfection of all things. They trust that they are good, and that life is good. They can enjoy life, for they are not focused on order and the lack of it. They know there is nothing wrong.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s