The Peacemaker

We call type nine the Peacemaker, because nines try to create harmony and peace. They do that avoiding conflicts and making people feel comfortable. They are service minded and helpful. Nines do not like to call attention to themselves.

A nine often has a calming, soothing, influence on others. Being very accepting, nines make people feel safe and relaxed. They do not stress themselves or others, but rather rely on their endurance. A nine can easily take the role of mediator, and she can be a good diplomat, seeing and arguing for the perspective of others.

Nines care about the physical needs of everyone they meet. They see other people as children in need of practical assistance. It is almost as if a nine fades away into that service to others. She forgets her own needs, in a kind of fuzzy distraction. To a less free nine that is humility, not to focus on your own personal goals. She idealizes humility. It is not ok in her view to be self centered.

As a matter of fact, the longing for harmony in the nine is a longing to get rid of her own inner disharmony. Nines are pushing down their own needs and the anger that their self neglect is causing them.

If you are a nine you will feel unimportant. Bragging, or even hinting at success, does not come easy to you. You may avoid expressing appreciation for or drawing attention to yourself and people near you, in order to avoid embarrassment.

This actually is your inner three child, that you find embarrassing. That focused Achiever in you that does not beat around the bush when she wants things done. That part can be hard to embrace for a nine and it is, as we shall see, the part that she needs to integrate in order to really thrive.

So, nines tend to be wall flowers. That which your humility forbids, namely being the center of attention (your own and that of others), is actually what your inner three child longs for.

Nines come across as somewhat resistant energetically. They resist being focused and present. A nine will not speak clearly and will not be too specific about anything but practical matters. Some nines talk a lot, but their talk can be hard to follow. It is like they are trying to put you to sleep.

Trying to keep things smooth and easy, a nine will ignore of disregard problems and pretend uncomfortable things do not exist. Little details are often preferred to major tasks.This way a nine may actually cause trouble, ignoring things that have to be attended to, and focusing on unimportant but more comfortable issues instead. 

Avoiding confrontation and conflict, a nine may actually attract it. When you shovel trouble into the closet for too long, the door will burst open.

Distracting yourself from anger

Nines are angry. Just like types eight and one this type is a visceral type, a body type. And the underlying emotional atmosphere is one of anger. In the core type of this triad, anger is denied, while in type eight it is openly expressed and enjoyed (and in type one it is transformed into skepticism, caution, criticism and resistance). Allowing herself to focus on herself, and go deep enough to contact that anger, comes very hard to a nine.

A nine typically has buried her anger, along with her will, so deeply it is really hard for her to feel it. It may only come through as resistance and, occasionally, as unsensitive remarks. Nines often mention their tendency to say yes too quickly. What may happen is that the nine forgets, or becomes very unfocused and inefficient, when it comes to doing the task she agreed to do, against her actual will.

Nines also secretly long to be served as they serve others. They do not state it openly, but like all types they hope to get back that which they give. A nine does not give emotional support like a two, she gives comfort and assistance. That service mindedness is most noticeable in small things. When there is a crisis or serious matter, when action is really called for, a nine often becomes passive. It is like when she does not know what to do, she just stops doing, or goes on to something else.

If you are a nine you are probably perfectionistic in the particular area of service in practical matters. You would rather iron all the clothes yourself, than let someone else do it. It´s not easy to get to help a nine in the kitchen. In this area, a nine feels she is the most competent. Is is all an expression of your talent for peace and harmony. The table made so well that everyone will be content, relaxed and at peace. It is also a way in which you keep distracting yourself from focusing on your own wants and goals. A focus that you would not consider humble enough, until you honored and integrated you three energy.

The deadly sin attributed to this type in the traditional Enneagram literature is sloth, which can be defined as something like psycho-spiritual laziness. At bottom this refers to the resistance to focus on your interiority. Nines can work really hard and are often active doing practical scores. However, there is a love for relaxation and “hanging out” in this type, and a tendency to reward oneself with distractions, good food, drink and the like, when the nine feels she has done her service.

Focused action

Knowing that you are a nine can help you become free. Understanding your pattern will make you see how your focus on serving others makes you neglect yourself, and your goals in life.

You will be able to see through your tendency to try to avoid conflict, keeping everybody content, and become a clearer person. You will not get true harmony, shoving things under the carpet.

If you are a nine, the direction of integration is toward point three in the Enneagram. Your inner child aspect is three. This aspect is within you, you need only listen to it and let it guide you.

These are aspects of type three that are helpful for you:

– Focus on you. Your inner child wants attention. She does not want you to follow everybody else. Follow that part of yourself, it will balance you.

– Focus on your goals. Threes are focused, efficient and goal oriented. Let you inner three child teach you to focus on you own goals, and not get lost in others, or in matters of no importance. You will be successful and enjoy it.

– Be clear. Your inner three child wants you to be focused and clear. It does not like beating around the bush. Clear communication is efficient, and you inner child wants to get the job done.

– Limits. Threes are self sufficient. They have no trouble saying no. Let your inner three child teach you that. If you should say yes automatically, always take the time to focus and get clear about what you really want. Then, express it clearly and let others know what you are prepared to do, and not. It is ok to take a yes back. This way you will learn to know faster and faster what you really want.

– Be with anger. When you start focusing on yourself, you may get angry about the self neglect you have suffered. And about others taking advantage of your service mindedness. It is fine to set limits and say no. And it is ok to be angry and fed up. Just stay with the emotion. Do not repress it again. You are important. Like a three, see yourself first.

– Independence. Your inner three is independent. People will not disappear if you start setting limits. And if they do, you will be ok (and they will). In a three, that independence can be exaggerated. In you, it will create balance and make you strong.

– Assertiveness. Your inner three child is angry because you are not letting her out to be seen and heard. If you follow her wishes more it will help you become assertive. You will speak clearly and insist until you are heard and eventually get your way. Your inner child knows what it wants and wants you to stand up for it.

– Efficiency. Threes have no patience with insignificant details. They go directly towards the main goal, and fast. If you allow that inner three child to guide you in that, you will be in balance; kind and caring, efficient and strong.

– Responsibility. A three does not doubt that it is up to her. Integrating that knowing of your inner child, will help you take full responsibility in all situations. You are important and what you say and do matters and has an impact.

Nines are peace makers, for they are good at taking every view. Learning to focus on themselves first, they can step forward and take their place fully. When a nine is clear and assertive, she does not have to put herself nor others to sleep in the name of peace. And those who found it convenient to have a humble servant around, get a chance to grow up.

When a nine stops avoiding conflict, she paradoxically finds peace. That bottled up anger caused her to feel stressed and distracted inside. When she is true to herself and assertive, that angry energy is transformed into fuel for focused action. She can then lean into herself and experience that peace that is her true nature and fully be present, a positive force in the world.

 

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6 Responses to “Type 9”

  1. Saga Says:

    Hi:) I got a question, what does ‘intertiority’ mean?
    Have a nice day:)

    Hej:) jag har en fråga, vad betyder ‘intertiority’?
    Ha en bra dag:)


    1. Hej Saga! Our English language skills are sometimes not optimal ;-). It has to do with inner. Inner world… Hope that helps!! Please write again if you have more questions! Ha en bra dag och beklagar att jag inte varit inloggad på så länge och därför inte svarat!!

      1. Saga Says:

        Thank you!
        Tack!

  2. Shelly McGee Says:

    Baby, your inner child is a three.

  3. Nichie Says:

    Thank you for posting this 🙂 this helped me reflect on the things I needed to change so that I can grow 😀
    The sentence “You are important” made we want to cry.


    1. Beautiful thank you sweetie ❤

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